Soldier, I hear bombshells in the background

and I thought that you might spend the night alone!

I am alone

unfolding notes, refolding notes

putting bits together, decoding

words are tricky

but im afraid you always say exactly what you mean

I'm working on cooking alone

eating alone

sleeping alone

and i got off the grass, man

ch-ch-ch-changes

its all part of the plan

someday i want to have the reason to say "if you could see me now!"

if i had the guts to say it

out loud, over the phone, over a distance

then i might feel better

Panda

burned ramen noodles the other day.

I wonder how long they were on the stove

All I found was a pot of hard black squiggles. I thought maybe he had tried to fry worms.

We hit the bubbler and agreed that smoke alarms are a pain.

There are many ways to enjoy ramen though!

"I made them soupier than usual today" he says.

It's because he's sick and sometimes soup is nice when people are sick.

Of course I understand. Sometimes they are good with spaghetti sauce.

And especially good when you chop up hotdogs and toss them in.

One day I was grilling these chicken skewers on the grill outside.

The outside of the chicken chunks turned charred and the inside was undercooked

We still ate it though.

(Food is food)

After eating we sit outside for awhile deciding what's best to do.

I always feel kind of lost after a meal.

I don't remember the context, but

while we let the food digest Panda tells me "life is precious".

It was pretty nice outside and I was in a pretty good mood

but still I decide to say "NO ITS NOT"

I immediately felt bad.

I just didn't know what to tell him.

Mustve been thinking about how people deserve to eat animals.

and vegetarians are creepy.

HA

i keep behaving badly.

I bet youre all sleeping

Ok I don't know who I was trying to impress tonight

but I feel super ashamed of the over eager teenage girl in me

that says cocky drunk things

and im all together just a huge weirdo.

I wish I could erase the night.